Saturday, February 13, 2010

a reflective moment...

Two Months...

It's been two months since I stepped off the plane bewildered and lost and feeling so small in Colombia. Which in itself is funny since I did have a moment in immigration when I realized I was the tallest person in a room of about fifty people. ;) but small is how I felt on arrival.

After two months... What has unfolded?

I might be walking a little taller in who I am. I might trust myself a little bit more. Two months might be too soon to say.

In planning this trip I could not understand the oft repeated question: "aren't you afraid?" or sentiment: "you're so brave". After all it is just traveling and I have no fear of kidnapping and my range of experience did not extend to any other possible fears.

So first on traveling alone. I had no idea how challenging this would be. How often I could be at a loss for where to go, how to get there and how to do what I'd want to do once I arrived. Transportation is a constant puzzle and it is appropriately in spanish. sometimes I am lucky and logistics are a problem with solution but mostly it's just a puzzle!

I've studied spanish, took more classes here. Satisfied myself grammatically but NOTHING can grow your vocabulary faster than experience and the quality of experience is directly tied to the ability to communicate: vocabulary. So if you want to know my name, age, where I am from, if I am married with children, how long I've been traveling, where I have traveled and where I still plan to go... I'm all set. However this conversation takes about ten minutes. Twenty if we talk about work and family. It's not very deep.

And it is a part of a larger issue when traveling alone. The questions above are standard intro conversation. Everyone from taxi drivers to grocery clerks will ask these questions. The shock that I am alone and the pity that follows are things I never expected. I was initially surprised at the personal nature if the questions. It made me feel unsafe. And as I did not have imaginary friends as a child I can't just lie about them now. This is getting easier to deal with but it is a daily reminder you are alone... You are alone.

So given that... How have I done? I have made good friends in short spurts of time. I have had to overcome an innate shyness and put myself out there over and over again with strangers. It's like the first day at a new school every three days! I am proud of how I have done in this regard. It gas been hard and rewarding.

The other area of challenge is just getting around. Buses are tough! Whenever I successfully navigate a multiple bus trip I feel triumphant! Tomorrow is another opportunity for success! But I am arriving in a place without a pre arranged hostel and cannot find any online... a bit of a puzzle.

If it seems as though I am whining it is not the intent or the case. I am merely sharing the answers I have discovered to questions posed before I left.

I feel good. Every time I am afraid, I survive, and usually find fun along the way. I am faced with who I am daily and as it is the primary company I am keeping I am more compassionate with myself than ever before. In general I can take self responsibility straight into self criticism. I have had to soften in this.

Two months in there is some stretching, some lengthening. There is also a great appreciation of the people who support me and hold me in their hearts. The thing is I am hardly traveling alone in this world. I even appreciate the technology designed to keep me connected.

So I guess I left with a naive sense of fear, I am present to it in many forms each day, and in facing it daily I hope to strengthen courage. In the end compassion, courage and love are the primary tools I need to contribute to a better world. It is here in South America where I can best develop the practice of courage.

In joy...
Aly

post puerto natales

so... a bit latein posting this but Ihave been having technical difficulties. :) No big surprise there!

As I walked to the bus stop in the morning the bitter cold wind cut through my clothing as though I wore none. After a week of being here it still catches me off guard. I am early for the bus in hopes of finding hot chocolate. I hope in vain. It is too early forthis town.

Yesterday I followed the advice of lonely planet and found myself at Patagonia Dulce: apparently the holy Grail of chocolates. I have to say I did enjoy my six dollar hot cocoa but I am not sure it was entirely worthy of it's reputation or its price tag.

On the other hand Torres del Paine is worthy of its price tag. While my time here did not go according to plan it has been a good experience and I know I will return to do a bit more in this region. It is beautiful in a rugged and austere hway, really unparalleled in my experience. Of everywhere I have hiked the wind rivers comes closest in feel if not scenery. There was definitely a moment of severe chill and satisfaction reminiscent of Indian Pass with Kevin and Jack in 1996.

I cannot recall a hike in the States with comparable pain however. Descending from Lago Grey my left knee began to have shooting pain. Depending on my right and recently "rehabilitated" knee more heavily only led to an awareness of my patella slipping off track and beginning a familiar and dreaded grind. Sleep granted me little relief that night as every move I made in my bag woke me up with a startled cry.

In the morning I told Lee and Emma to go ahead and that I would go home early on the boat. I was SO incredibly disappointed that I just sat in despair as they headed down the trail.

I thought about my predicament and decided that as the hike to the next Refugio was easy I should try. I could rest there for another night and possibly make it up to see sunrise on the towers.

The walk across to campo Italiano was beautiful with gently rolling hills and a trail that was smooth and unchallenging. Unless of course every step taken causes pain. It was estimated as a two hour walk but after two hours I was only half way there. I turned around and slowly made my way back to the ferry pick up point, feeling defeated and exhausted when I finally stepped on the ferry to head back to puerto natales on the bus.

However, it was beautiful, that which I saw up close. And I will be able to see Lee and Emma's photos of the areas I only saw from the boat.

As my friends all know, I do like a plan but I think I do fairly well when the plan falls apart. I got to experience a decision point that really was a test of compassion for myself. I could have pushed on but at what cost? I am happy that I turned around. I could have really gotten hurt and then where would I be for the rest of my trip? Now I want to return and do a series of three hikes down here someday.

When I got back to PN I had nowhere to stay. I returned to my hostel limping only to find there were no rooms. I must have looked pretty pathetic because while I was searching for a room on the internet, Omar magically came up with a dorm bed for me. It is always a challenge for me to ask for help. I cling to the illusion that I am self sufficient. So this week was good as I needed to rely heavily on the kindness of strangers.

I am now in the airport at Punta Arenas. There are only two airlines servicing this area. The bus ride over was through a beautiful expanse of nothingness. Starkly beautiful. it felt as though the sky was low to the ground. As we approached a lake I could not determine what was in the lake... Pink plastic buoys or something. I laughed out loud as we got closer and I could see it was flock of flamingos! Shortly after I looked out again to see an ostrich running through the brush. As it was completely unexpected it was quite a treat!

This evening Puerto Varas again, then off to Pucon. I also think I may look into helping/volunteering in the Maccu Piccu clean up work. I think I would like that.


aly

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

on the navimag...

It is amazingly comforting that the sounds of a ferry are nearly ubiquitous. I find the rumble of the navimag to be familiar and comforting. When reading the website, which I will admit was a minimal effort on my part, the acommodations sounded less than ideal but this was a part of the adventure! For my 420$ I would be fed three meals a day and sleep in a dorm bed with 42 other people.

The decision to do this trip is definitely one of my more spontaneous moments. While sitting on the beach in the wonderful town of Canoa frustrated by the lack of reliable bus information (buses are very reliable, information and time tables are challenging) I remembered some sort of boat in Patagonia. Realizing I have nowhere to be until feb 27 I thought, " why not take a quick jaunt to the bottom of the world...?" and a quick skype call and a half hour of Internet time I had done next to no research and some quick spending and returned to coco loco to pack up for an overnight bus.

The sleep one gets on an overnight bus is a bit liquid and gooey... Waking and dozing never certain which state is real.

To follow an overnight bus with an overnight flight is sure to cause some delerium. To be delirious and landing without a clue is less than ideal. On the final leg of my flight I sat next to a Chilean man who was quite helpful. I was reading my lonely planet guide for chile, purchased for 52$ in the Santiago airport along with my 7$ water, and I realized that Puerto Montt was not a nice place to be, even for one night of serious catch up sleep. The man next to me agreed with lonely planet and advised me to take a 20 minute bus to Puerto Varas.

A hostel was easily found, although expensive like all things in Chile. And I set about exploring the tiny town on lake villarca. Pto Varas is heavily influenced by German settlement about 125 years ago. The architecture is charming and the setting quite picturesqe. There is a good selection of German foods available and the desserts looked quite delicious. I enjoyed a lunch of pork chops, potatoes and saurkraut with a locally brewed German style beer. The first meal I have enjoyed since the parasitic invasion of my being!

So pto varas was a nice intro to Chile and I took the bus tp Pto Montt in the morning. I'll admit to having a bit of trepidation around the trip. After my rash decision I met up with some folks who did not quite enjoy the four days on navimag. In the book it says if the weather is bad it IS a miserable trip, and that if you have not arranged everything in advance you will be cold and hungry in pto natales with nowhere to stay. This has proven not to be the case.

Having wrestled with whether or not to go, I arrived at the terminal to discover it was delayed twelve hours... Loading at 11pm for a 4 am departure. What to do? Giving my area a listen I picked out some British people and proceeded to befriend two couples. To my great delight Lee and Emma are hoping to walk the W trail in Torres del Paine. They are also winging it and we will find equipment to rent.

The Navimag itself is a lovely ferry. The set up makes me think I was onto something with my ferry campus idea. The dorm beds are quite nice, lockers are ample, showers and toilets clean. And the food appears to be surprisingly good. Although...

I am ashamed to say that 2009 brought my first walmart excursion and 2010 as of today I have eaten my first farmed salmon. Not a moment to be proud of and pondering the travesty of salmon farming as I ate I could only eat about five bites. Chile would like to out perform Norway in salmon farming exports. It's heart breaking.

Arrival in Puerto Natales last night, delicious dinner in town. We rented equipment today and are leaving on a bus at 7:30 am.
more to come and someday some pictures too.