departure

Home. On a slow northbound trajectory. I have been excited for the turning point and it turns out to be quite different from the halfway point. The turning point is now.

Yesterday as I ran my final errands in Cusco I realized that I have spent more time here than anywhere in my travels. At the same time it feels like I have traveled more of my own path in this place than anywhere.

Cusco, a muddy depressing mess in recovery from floods when I arrived. I wanted to go home. Today, leaving toward home I realized in six weeks I have seen transformation. This city has worked so hard to go beyond repair and recovery. And the work is everywhere.

So has it been with me. Three weeks of meditation, yoga, fasting, breathing exercises etc... In this time I have felt enormous as a part of the greater whole of the universe moving in concert with the whole to evolve our reality. I have also felt smaller than a grain of sand with the whole of the universe saying, you are one grain of sand. All that you do is insignificant in the big picture.

Where is the balance in identity? Part of my take away is to know that all that I do is sigificant to me and that the butterfly theory applies to me as well as a butterfly. One conversation, one person inspired could have repercussions unknown and unplanned. Let's hope those repercussions are positive. :) but even that engenders responsibilty and awareness of my own words. I may never be significant but my life can be if I strive to be my best self.

Six weeks on and off in cusco and I see that I have embraced the friendly advice of John Perkins: be afraid of nothing, be aware of everything. As I have faced uncertain situations fear turns into courage because I have no choice but to move through it. As I become more courageous the heart opens and compassion flourishes. And I can better see what is right in front if me.

Six weeks to feeling home in a place where I was first afraid of despair. And I suspect there will be moments when I feel the pang of homesickness for cusco.

Homesick for the place my wallet was stolen. Homesick for the place where unknown friends became known and took care of me until funds arrived. A place that made me trust others and myself.

I walked around the town early this morning, mourning my departure from a place that has given me so much. Enjoying it as it started to come to life. I super appreciate those who have made my life here seem like home. besos!